Nakey Jakey

This new naked trend isn’t really new at all.  From the dawn of time toddlers have rioted against clothing of any kind and have run amuck in houses everywhere, free as a bird.  This of course is acceptable when you are in the comforts of your own home.  But children never abide by the “culturally acceptable”.  In fact, on my last trip to my parent’s house my youngest son (age 2 1/2) decided that it was too hot for clothing once again and stripped down to his birthday suit in their backyard.  No big deal, I thought.  No one will be offended by a little Nakey Jakey back here, and if he has to pee… well, there’s grass.

 

Distracted, as I was, cleaning the patio area before my sister-in-law’s graduation party- I began to see the downfall of this decision.  I realized that my son had found some glass decorations to play with and instead of prying them from his tiny fingers which would have immediately sent him into a tantrum of epic proportions (because these days there are no such things as small tantrums), I opted to watch him closely by playing with him.

 

We being shoulder to shoulder on the cold cement, Jacob standing and me kneeling, the thing I thought would never happened did.  After a split second grunt, which sounded more like a raspy hiccup, down fell a chunk of poop.  A CHUNK OF POOP.  ON THE CEMENT.  A whole field of grass and he decides to not allow his need “to go” disturb the glass bird and cage he was playing with.  He just continued playing.  He didn’t even flinch. 

 

My eyes widened as I smelt what had just happened, and as calm as possible looked to my mother and asked for a piece of toilet paper. 

 

“What do you need it for?” she asked.

 

Still in shock I simply replied, “Do you smell that? Jake just pooped on your patio.”

 

We all had a great laugh, but for the rest of the evening as guests began to show and I look down to the spot where that little thing was planted I couldn’t help but feel queasy wondering if there were any remnants left.  I scrubbed that spot as best I could, but there’s no feeling clean after that.

 

Children.  They get poop everywhere.

 

FOR THE LOVE!